Chuck vs The Distorted Reality
by HipsterMaybe
Summary: "She's gone...Sarah's dead. I couldn't protect her." Chuck said flatly. "No! Chuck I'm here! I'm real! Whatever they told you, whatever you think happened to me is not real! Please, Chuck!" Rated T to be safe. let me know if it needs adjusting. Oh, and I don't own anything!
1. Chapter 1

"Chuck!" Sarah's scream echoed across the Buy More parking lot. She frantically reached for her gun in her waistband, only to realize she had left it at home that day. She silently berated herself believing that maybe she'd be okay without a weapon today. After all, she had just gone to bring Chuck and Casey lunch. Now she ran towards the edge of the parking lot, kicking her heels off as she went, where just moments ago, Chuck had been standing. He'd had gone to get something from his car when suddenly, a large black van pulled up next to him. A man whose size and fierce demeanor rivaled even Casey's intimidating stature jumped out and brought the butt of his gun down hard on Chuck's head. Sarah watched in panic as she ran. Her husband was being muscled into the van. She was still ten yards away when the van pulled off into the Burbank traffic. She stared after the van in shock for a moment, belatedly realizing that she needed to call it in. She fumbled with her phone for a moment, then found the number she was looking for.

"Walker, where's my lunch? Subway doesn't take that long!" Casey growled.

"Casey! Chuck…he's been…he's" Sarah stammered. She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Walker! Walker…Sarah!" Casey yelled, barking out her first name, a rare occurrence. However, it helped her to calm down enough to talk to him.

"John, he's gone! This van pulled up and they hit him over the head an-and grabbed him!"

"Alright, get down to Castle. I'll grab Grimes and we'll track Chuck down." With that he hung up. Grabbing Morgan by the collar as he went, Casey ran to the hidden entrance to Castle in the Home Theater section.

After filling Morgan in on the way down, they arrived to find a distraught Sarah who was barely holding it together. Casey firmly, but gently maneuvered her into a chair.

"Alright Walker, tell me what happened from the start." Sarah told them all that had transpired in the parking lot, this time only slightly more coherent than she was on the phone. When she was done, the remainder of Team Bartowski was left to piece together a lead from the scant information provided. Morgan slid his chair over to the computers and began to pull up traffic camera footage.

"Sarah, I know this is hard, but do you remember anything about the car? License plate? Make? Model? Color?" Morgan was trying to be of some use in finding his best friend. He may not be a bad ass agent, but his computer skills could help.

"I…uh, it was black, big, just a generic panel van. Tinted windows I think. Yeah, and blank plates." Sarah scrunched up her face trying to remember every last detail about the van. Morgan quickly found the van in a few-minute old video, but it was lost to him just as quickly as it entered the highway and left sight of the cameras. Sarah deflated a little when the van carrying her endangered and probably concussed husband. Intersect or not, Chuck was still vulnerable. Still, she refused to become the spy she was when he was taken by the Belgian. This time she would stick with Casey and Morgan and they would find him. She held on to hope that they wouldn't kill him. They had taken him alive instead of shooting him where he stood so that was a good sign. She sighed. Casey had already notified Beckmann and she had every spy in Los Angeles looking for him. They would find him and everything would be okay.

Two weeks later, they still had nothing. The familiar feeling of hopelessness was settling in her stomach. Unlike before, they had no idea who had Chuck. Her only hope was that the intersect would prevail and he would escape.


	2. Chapter 2

**3 Months Later**

Sarah was breaking. Three months without so much as a word on Chuck, and she thought she might explode. All she did was search for any possible lead. Day after day, she pored over the reports on every mission Chuck had been in involved in, looking for some possible connection to his disappearance. And night after night, she went home to an empty apartment. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in their bed; it was so cold without Chuck. She just slept on couch curled up in his Star Wars blanket. Casey and Morgan weren't much better. They spent all day with her searching for leads. Casey called in old favors and Morgan scanned every network for signs up of Chuck, but there was nothing. Ellie and Devon were quiet and sad. All they could do was ask Sarah every day when she returned home if there was any news. Every day she just shook her head dejectedly. They had nothing to show for all their work.

Until one day, exactly three months, eight days, and fifteen hours since Chuck had disappeared (not that Sarah was counting), they did. Castle was silent and still, save for the rustling of pages. Then Morgan suddenly let out an excited whoop as his monitor came to life. Sarah was by his side in an instant.

"Morgan, what is it?! Did you find him? Did you find Chuck?" Sarah could barely contain the hope that bubbled up inside her chest.

"Maybe! A CIA mole just forwarded this email he intercepted detailing the transfer of a prisoner by name of C. Carmichael. It says here he was taken to an abandoned warehouse in Poland. Here's the coordinates. This email is old, but he could still be there right?" Morgan was also having trouble keeping his excitement at bay. Without saying a word, Casey requested Beckmann's backing on a rescue mission. She quickly granted them access to any resource she could provide.

"Ok Team, we have a green light. Let's go bring Bartowski home."

**Poland**

Sarah and Casey walker silently and swiftly along the underground corridor that led to the basement of the warehouse. Morgan had stayed in the van to manage the Electronics in the warehouse. He had managed to hack into their system and was ready to override them at any time. Two guards stood watch at the entrance to basement. Without a sound, Casey and Sarah snapped their necks and silently eased them to the ground. Casey snatched up one of the radios and listened in.

"Team Six, come in." Casey thought fast when he saw the large number six written on his radio.

"Team Six here, over." He said in a voice he hoped sounded like the guard.

"We need a last minute change up here. Get up here and guard Carmichael. I know your new and all, we're needed elsewhere. Don't worry; this guy doesn't have any fight let in him." Sarah gasped. She couldn't believe their luck. They were being led straight to Chuck. Still, the comment about him had here scared for his health. Thinking fast, Casey replied.

"On our way. How do I get up there from the basement again? This place is a goddamn maze." The guard on the other end proceeded to give him directions as they headed up. When they arrived, the hall was empty and they keys were left on the floor for them. Sarah glanced around to ensure they were alone, then reached out with a shaking hand and opened the huge rusty door.

Sarah froze in shock and horror for a moment. A man she barely recognized as her husband lay in the corner of the filthy room, arm chained to the wall. Mentally shaking herself she ran over to him while Casey slipped inside and locked the door. He quickly joined her at Chuck's side. He looked like Hell. He was unconscious, but privately, Casey thought it was blessing. He must be in awful pain. The room was freezing, yet Chuck was only clad in a pair of thin jeans and a light undershirt. Every visible part of skin was bruised and bloody, as though he had received daily beatings. His left arm was bent at an odd angle and he had a very obvious stab wound on his left thigh. Casey gently palpated his much too thin abdomen, trying to ignore how he could feel his ribs that nearly poked through his black and blue skin. God, were they feeding the kid? Casey grunted in dismay as he felt the tell-tale rigidity in Chuck's abdomen that indicated internal bleeding. At least it couldn't have happened too long ago, or he'd be dead, Casey reasoned. He check his pulse, it was rapid and weak, just like his breathing. Sarah gently placed a cool hand on his grimy forehead, nearly pulling it back in shock when she felt the heat radiating off him. Chuck chose that moment to groan softly. Sarah leaned closer and cupped his abused face in her hands.

"Chuck? Baby, can you hear me? Please, come back to me Chuck!" she pleaded. It took a moment, but eventually chucks glassy hazel orbs fluttered open.

"S-sar?" It was all he could get past his abused vocal chords at the moment.

"Yeah, baby, it's me. We're gonna get you home ok? I've got you." Whatever reaction Sarah had expected, what happened next was not it. Chucks breathing quickened and his pulse raced. He began to struggle weakly to free himself.

"Nononononononono! You're…she-she's de-dead! M-my f-fault! Couldn't…couldn't protect her. God, Sarah I'm sorry!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah was shocked. He thought she was dead? Sarah took his face in her hands once again while Casey restrained his flailing limbs.

"Chuck. Listen to me. I'm here. I'm not dead. You're safe." Chuck stilled.

"She's gone...Sarah's dead. I couldn't protect her." he replied flatly.

"No! Chuck I'm here! I'm real! Whatever they told you, whatever you think happened to me is not real! Please, Chuck!" Sarah pleaded.

"'Msorry" Chuck replied as his eyes slid shut and he passed out once again. Tears flowed freely down Sarah's face. Casey just looked stunned. Realizing that they had to act quickly if Chuck was going to survive, he pressed his finger to the headset and spoke to Morgan.

"Grimes, in ten seconds, kill the lights. We got Chuck and we're coming out." He and Sarah quickly pulled on their night vision goggles and Casey unfolded the portable stretcher they brought with them. Once Chuck was loaded and the lights were out, they quickly made their way back out the way they came. Morgan was waiting with the van ready to go and they loaded chuck into the back. Casey called in the agents they had surrounding the warehouse to conduct their raid now that Chuck was relatively safe. Sarah pulled Chucks too-light body onto her lap and carded her fingers through his blood matted curls. Morgan drove them towards the helicopter that would fly them to a CIA hospital. He glanced back every few seconds, shocked by his best friend's appearance.

They arrived in record time. The helicopter ride was uneventful and soon Chuck was being wheeled away from them to receive much needed medical attention. Once he was gone, Sarah couldn't herself. She collapsed in the hard waiting room chair and sobbed into Casey's shoulder, which had suddenly appeared the moment she needed it. Morgan sat across from her.

"Guys, what the hell happened in there?" he asked. He was desperate for any scrap of information on Chuck's condition. Sarah explained what had happened in the warehouse haltingly as she sputtered out the story through her sobs. Casey helped her when needed. Morgan nodded when it was over, still scarcely believing all that had happened to his childhood friend.

"God…I better call Ellie. I promised I'd let her know as soon as we had anything. Beckmann said she'd fly them out here if we did find him." With that, he left. Casey went to touch base with the team that raided the warehouse and Sarah changed into a pair of scrubs a kindly nurse had offered since her own clothes were covered in blood. Five hours later saw them all back in the waiting room in clean clothes and with a cup of bad coffee in their hands. Ellie and Devon were on their way. Still, there was no news on Chuck. As they waited, Morgan jiggled his foot nervously, Casey sat unmoving in the uncomfortable chair, and Sarah rubbed the gold ring that adorned her finger. Just when she thought she couldn't stand to wait any longer, she heard a doctor call out "Who's here for Chuck Bartowski?" and her heart leapt in anticipation and fear.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Sorry, I forgot to tell ya'll that this takes place in early season 5, but it's a little AU because Chuck still has the intersect. Morgan never had it.**

"Is anyone here for Chuck Bartowski?" the doctor repeated after receiving no response from anyone in the waiting room. Casey stood.

"We're here for Bartowski." He said, gesturing to himself, Morgan, and Sarah. "How is he?"

"Please, sit down. There's a lot to discuss regarding Mr. Bartowski's condition." The tired looking doctor said. "My name is Doctor Jennings and I've been in charge of Mr. Bartow-" Sarah cut him off. "Chuck. Call him Chuck."

"Alright, as I was saying, I am in charge of Chuck's medical care here. I'm going to start with his minor medical concerns and work my way up. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. First, Chuck has a broken left arm. We've set it and it should heal without complication. He also has several broken fingers on his left hand. Unfortunately, these appear to have been deliberate breaks. , perhaps with a plyers." Sarah gasped and Casey grunted. Morgan stared on in shock. "Moving on, we found three broken ribs, none of which pierced a lung thankfully, and two cracked ribs. The rest are severely bruised, but as with his arm, they should heal. He is also malnourished and dehydrated so we're pushing fluids and we have him on a feeding tube. Now, we move onto our major concerns. I'll start with his head injury. It appears that chuck received several heavy blows to the head, giving him a very severe concussion. His brain is slightly swollen, but it's going down slowly, but surely. We're optimistic that there should be no long term complications." They each breathed out a sigh of relief. Suddenly Sarah had a thought.

"Doctor, when we found him, he was conscious briefly. He seemed to believe I was dead and became very upset when he saw me. Could this be a result of his concussion?" Jennings thought for a moment. "As with and head trauma, confusion can occur. Another possibility is the drugs running through his system. We found needle marks from an IV on his arm so we ran a blood test. The results came back to a very strange cocktail of drugs whose end result would be confusion and trouble telling what was real or not. We're hoping when he wakes up he'll be more coherent. Now, our two biggest concerns with Chuck are his infection as a result of the stab wound in his thigh, and the internal bleeding. The wound on his thigh is relatively minor, but it is now badly infected. His temperature is sitting at about 103.6 right now and climbing. We've cleaned and debrided the wound and inserted a drain, but right now all we can do is let the antibiotics work. As for the internal bleeding, it must have happened now long before you found him. It's still very worrisome, but definitely not as bad as it could have been. The blows to his abdomen cause a slight perforation of the spleen. We were able to fix it, but he did lose quite a bit of blood. He is receiving transfusions as we speak. In all, Chuck is not out of the woods by any means, but we'll get him there. He's in the ICU now. Usually, we don't allow visitors, but I get the feeling you three wouldn't leave anyway. As long as you don't disturb him, you may sit with him." With that, Jennings led the way to Chuck's glass cubicle. Sarah's fragile composure crumbled at the sight of her frail husband lying so still on the bed. He looked fragile and small. He had many tubes attached to him, one of which Sarah recognized as a respirator. _God, he can't even breathe for himself_ Sarah thought. Taking the seat next his right side, she grabbed a hold of his this hand. Jennings came up behind her and handed her a small bag. Inside was Chuck's wedding band. "I'm not sure how he held onto this, but we had to remove it in order to set his fingers." Sarah thanked him and continued to stoke Chuck's hand with her thumb. She had missed that hand so much. Morgan was seated opposite of her on Chuck's left side. He sat there quietly without making a move to touch him, as though afraid he might hurt him more. Casey stood at the end of chuck's bed, as though guarding the young man. Gone was his tough, indifferent facial expression. Instead, the NSA agent looked close to tears. Who would do this? They still had no idea who the people who took Chuck were. The team who raided the warehouse only came up with one man, who had surprisingly given himself up without a fight, almost as if he wanted to be caught all along. Casey turned all this information over in his head. Based on his injuries, it looked like they wanted something from Chuck. That, of course, was no surprise being that he was the intersect. Casey felt a strong surge of bittersweet pride as he realized that Chuck must not have talked, or else the torture would have stopped.

They stayed in their position for three hours. A nurse had given Sarah a bowl of water and a washcloth so she could do something to control Chuck's rising fever. Morgan had gone to get them all more coffee and Casey was in the hallway asking for any information on who the people who hurt Chuck were. Sarah was all alone with Chuck. As she gently wiped his face, careful of his many bruises, Sarah was suddenly startled by alarms going off at his bedside. Within seconds, nurses were gently pushing her aside so they could work on Chuck. "What's happening? What's wrong?!" Sarah pleaded with the nurses for any sort of information on Chuck. Dr. Jennings, who she hadn't even seen come in spoke up. "He's fighting the tube, but it was just a precaution anyway. Lindsay, go ahead remove it. Someone get a bath basin full of ice ready. He's fever's at 106 now. We need to induce hypothermia." Sarah's stomach lurched. She knew how bad a fever like this was. Hell, she'd lived through it not too long ago. She remembered Chuck being at her side, and she resolved to do the same for him. Chuck was now being wheeled away with Sarah at his side and Morgan and Casey following closely.

The moment the ice cubes were poured over Chuck's body, his fever glazed eyes flew open in panic. He glanced wildly around, trying to find something familiar. Suddenly his eyes locked onto Sarah, Casey, and Morgan. _Oh God, _he thought. _I really must be dying if they're here. _He still remembered all too clearly seeing the video of them being blown to bits in Castle. The Buy More had blown up yet again, but this time, everyone had been inside. They had made him watch the news so he could see the truth of their words. The reporter said the bodies were burned beyond recognition and needed dental records to be identified. Among the dead, the report mentioned Sarah Walker, John Casey, Morgan Grimes, Michael "Big Mike" Tucker, Lester Patel, and Jeffrey Barnes. If Chuck had been there, he could have disabled the bomb using the intersect, they told him. He could have saved them. But he didn't. He was so consumed with grief that he almost welcomed his daily beatings. They helped him to at least feel something. Had he not been overwhelmed by loss and guilt, he might have found it strange that they never asked him one question. Day after day they beat him, but not quite enough to kill him. In fact, they refused to let him die. When Chuck no longer accepted the food and water provided, they inserted an IV in his arm and gave him fluids and nutrition. Not enough to gain any strength, but enough to keep him just barely alive. Not that he wanted to be. Without Sarah or the others, Chuck had no purpose in life. He tried to give up, but they wouldn't let him. He looked around again. _What the hell? Am I in a hospital? How in the world did I get here?_ Suddenly, he flinched when he felt a warm, soft hand close around his own. It was Sarah's. Strange how it felt so real. How was this even possible? She was dead! they all were.

"S-s-sarah?" He asked, hardly daring to believe she was actually here.

"Chuck! Chuck, I'm here. It's ok, you're safe." Sarah was beyond relieved to see Chuck's eyes open.

"If 'm dead, w-why is it so cold?" he stuttered out around his chattering teeth.

"Sweetie, you're not dead. You're in the hospital and you're very sick, but you'll get better, ok?"

"Not dead yet? Soon then. G-guys, c-can't do this any longer. I'll be with you. In a minute." His sentences where short and halting. Fear gripped Sarah's heart once more. He still thought she was dead. He thought they all were. And he was giving up. Not about to let that happen, Sarah cupped his face in her palms once more.

"Chuck! Look at me. I'm real. Feel my hands?" she gave his face a small shake "I'm real. I'm not dead. Casey and Morgan are real too. We're all very worried about you. Look, whatever they told you, whatever you believe happened to us, it's not true. They lied. Chuck, I really need you to fight! Please, for me!" she pleaded desperately.

"'Kay, babe. Can't let you down." and with that his eyes slid shut. Before Sarah had a chance to panic, Jennings spoke.

"He's just unconscious. Looks like the ice bath's working. His fever's back to a relatively safe range. You did good, Agent Walker. Just keep him calm and he'll come around eventually. We need another half hour to get him settled back in his room, and then you'll be allowed back to see him." With that, a nurse led them back to the waiting room where they sat once again in the incredibly hard chairs. Just as they were settling in to wait, the doors burst open at the end of the hall. Agent Jason Manning walked quickly towards them. Manning had just returned from the warehouse where he led the raid. He was very confused. None of what they'd found there made any sense. He approached Casey.

"Colonel Casey, sir. We found something you may need to see. My team and I couldn't make sense of it, but maybe you can." Manning said as he pulled out his laptop. Inserting a flash drive into the port, he selected a video file and hit play.

**Longer chapter this time. let me know your thoughts! BTW this is my first fanfic EVER so don't be harsh!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I just want to thank all of you who are reviewing! It means a lot J Let me know how I can improve! And now…Chapter 5. Enjoy!**

"_Breaking news today here at the Burbank Buy More where, for the second time, an explosion has destroyed the building. Police have confirmed that a bomb was the cause of this morning's explosion. Unlike the last explosion, there were people still inside the store when the bomb detonated. The explosion occurred before the store opened. Several Buy More employees were killed including John Casey, Morgan Grimes, Michael 'Big Mike' Tucker, Lester Patel, and Jeffrey Barnes. A body of a young woman who I've been told did not work at the Buy More has been identified as Sarah Bartowski. Mrs. Bartowski's husband, an employee at the Buy More, is still missing and being actively searched for_." The video ended, leaving the remains of Team Bartowski to stare at the monitor.

"What the hell?" was Morgan's eloquent response.

"Oh my God," Sarah breathed, feeling as though her insides were made of lead. "I think…what if this is what they showed Chuck? This is obviously fake, but he wouldn't know that! This has got to be why he thinks we're dead!"

"I think you're right." Casey agreed. "But that begs the question, why? Why work so hard to convince him we're dead. If they wanted something from him, it would have been smarter to use us as leverage than to kill us outright."

"I don't know. Maybe this isn't about information after all. A grudge against Chuck maybe?" Morgan thought for a moment. "These attacks seem really personal. But we've gone over and over his past missions and all the bad guys are in still in prison." Casey turned to Manning.

"Did you find anything else there?"

"Just these." Said Manning, pulling out a series of strange cards with odd designs and images on them. "We have no idea what these are, but we found them next the, uh, tools used on Agent Bartowski. We've sent pictures in to the CIA to see if anyone there knows what they are." Morgan studied the cards closely. Frowning, he said "Guys, look at these carefully. Is it just me, or is that thing in the corner like some sort of building?"

"Wait. I know that building. Casey, that's the hotel with the bomb!" Sarah exclaimed at her sudden realization.

"What hotel, Walker?"

"Remember the first time you met Chuck? And we had to disarm that bomb and Chuck used the porn virus?"

"Irene Demova?" Morgan supplied helpfully. Recognition dawned in the colonels eyes.

"You're right. Why would that be on there?"

"If you look closely, on each card there's a picture and…something else. Is that a face?" Casey held the card closer. Manning left to answer a phone call.

"Oh my God. That's Ted Roark!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Wait, Ted Roark, the CEO of Roark instruments who went missing?" Morgan asked.

"Not missing. Dead. Killed by a Ring Operative. It was before you're time at the CIA." Casey informed him. At Morgan's shocked face, he continued. "Don't worry, Roark was one of the bad guys."

"But that still doesn't explain why his face is on this card!" Sarah practically yelled in frustration.

"I may have an answer to that." Manning said, rejoining the distraught group. "CIA analysts got back to me on what those cards are used for. Agent Bartowski is the intersect right? These cards are used as a unique torture device specifically for the intersect. The images on the cards call up data from the intersect, but the colors and symbols mess with the process making the intersect malfunction and causing pain." Sarah paled significantly. _Jesus. Who are these people?_ Sarah thought. They waited another ten minutes in silence before Jennings returned.

"Chuck is stable now, but he's still in critical condition. The good news is he's breathing on his own, but again, the respirator was just a precaution anyways. I can allow you back in his room if you'd like." They nodded and he led them back to Chuck's glass cubicle in the ICU. They each took up their previous positions, with the exception of Casey, who was now sitting instead. Eventually, their exhaustion and jet lag caught up with them and they finally succumbed to their weariness.

When Sarah awoke, nearly nine hours later, she realized she was once again alone with Chuck. Morgan had left a note saying Casey was meeting with Manning to discuss the transfer of their single prisoner and that he himself had gone to get a cup of coffee. Sarah steered her attention down to Chuck. He was still unconscious. Even in his sleep he looked tired and in pain. She glanced up at the monitor to see that his temperature was still holding steady at 103.3. Not good, but far better than it had been. She allowed herself a small sigh of relief. Just as she resumed stroking his hand, two haggard looking figures burst through the door.

"Chuck…" Ellie breathed. Devon just stood next to her in shock. He didn't know whether to be relieved or horrified by Chuck's appearance. Ellie took Morgan's vacated seat and Devon pulled Casey's chair next to his wife's.

"Sarah, who did this?" Devon asked, breaking the silence.

"We have no idea. We believe it was someone looking for revenge, but we only have one man in custody and he has seemingly no connection to Chuck."

"Thank you." Ellie said softly. "Thank you Sarah. You didn't give up on him."

"Never. Just like Chuck never gave up on me." She said sadly. "Ellie, there's one more thing you should know. These people…did something to Chuck. They told him all these lies and fabricated evidence to make him believe that Morgan, Casey, several Buy More employees, and I are dead. I don't what, if anything, this guy said about you too. He seemed pretty intent on making Chuck feel alone."

"What?!"

"They faked a news broadcast about an explosion at the Buy More killing us all. You guys weren't mentioned, but I can't imagine he wouldn't try to convince Chuck that something happened to you as well."

"Sarah, promise this guy will never see the outside of an eight by eight cell ever again."

"Don't worry. I will personally see that he dies in solitary confinement." A sudden movement from the bed drew their attention back to the injured man.

"Whassgoin on?" Chuck slurred groggily.

"Chuck! Oh thank God you're awake!" Ellie exclaimed, gently wrapping her little brother in a hug.

"How ya feelin, bro?" Devon asked. Chuck looked around in confusion. Where the hell was he? He remembered having some pretty strange dreams. Most of them included Sarah and some had Casey and Morgan. Which is odd because they're dead. Aren't they? He didn't know what to believe. If Sarah was dead and he wasn't dreaming, how was she here? How was he able to look into his dead wife's eyes. For that matter, how were Ellie and Devon here? He was told they died along with baby Clara in a car accident on the way to the Buy More after the explosion. Sarah seemed to read his thoughts.

"Chuck, it's okay. I'm real. I'm not dead. Ellie and Devon too. We're all okay." She smiled that thousand watt smile he loved so much.

"Not dead?"

"Nope! Not getting rid of us that easily bro!" Devon said, patting his knee lightly.

"Oh. So nor car wreck?"

"No Chuck. We're okay. You need to believe it. For me." Ellie assured him, giving him one of those 'just try and deny me' looks his sister did so well.

"Bu-but, I saw the…saw the explosion! And pictures of the accident!" Chuck feebly defended all he'd been led to believe for the past three months.

"Chuck, they lied, okay. No one's dead. We're all safe and sound."

"O-okay…what happened though? How'd I get here?" he said, trying to make sense of his confusion.

"The CIA intercepted an email about you and we found you at that warehouse in Poland. We're in a private clinic in Germany now. We caught one of the men responsible, but he's not talking. Which is strange, because he just gave himself up without a fight." Chuck thought for a moment.

"This guy. Reddish hair? Blue eyes?"

"Yeah. We're still trying to figure out who he is. Did he tell you his name?"

"No, he hardly said anything too me. Just told me I was part of his plan. He seemed to be in charge. In fact, the only time he talked to me was to tell me you were all dead." Sarah frowned.

"He didn't ask you anything?"

"No, which I thought was weird. The way he went at me with those cards, you'd think he'd try to get something from me."

"Cards?" Ellie asked. Sarah briefly explained to her what Manning had told them, while Chuck listened in.

"That makes sense. I flashed, but they were different. They hurt and the data was all scattered." Chuck's eyelids began to droop. Just then, Morgan and Casey walked in.

"Chuck! Buddy, you're awake!"

"Morgan?"

"Yeah, buddy! It's me. How ya feel?"

"Tired. M' head kinda hurts. You okay?"

"Am I okay? Chuck, you're the one in the hospital bed. We're all fine, just worried 'bout you!"

"You're all okay…that's good." Chuck closed his eyes and smiled. "Hi Casey."

"Good to see you awake kid. You look pretty tired. Why don't you get some rest. We'll be here when you wake up." With that, Chuck gave one last tired smile and let himself fall into the abyss of sleep.

**Again, keep hittin that review button! Oh, and I'll try to finish soon, but just a warning, I leave for vacation Saturday and I won't be back and with cell range until the 19****th**** J**


	6. Chapter 6

_The Buy More burned. The raging inferno consumed every inch of the electronics store. It burned up CDs, DVDs, computers, phones. And people. The fire didn't seem to care that it was taking lives. All it seemed intent on was demolishing the once pristine aisles that Chuck knew so well. He watched as the fire consumed everyone he cared about. His wife. His childhood friend. His loyal protector. His mischievous coworkers. Gone. And where was he? The only one who could ever hope to disarm the bomb in time? Where was he while the indifferent fire marred his Sarah's perfect features? While it cut down his friends and reduced them to as? Where was he in the aftermath, when his sister, his brother in law, and his infant niece, all perished in a tragically avoidable accident? He didn't know where he was, but he sure wasn't where he needed to be. He let out an anguished scream of loss and guilt and called upon his newly deceased wife, praying that God would take him instead. "Sarah!"_

"Sarah!" Chuck yelled as he awoke with a start. He looked wildly around, his eyes falling upon his startled and very much alive Sarah. She placed a gentle hand on his arm, trying to anchor him.

"Chuck! Chuck, it's ok. Everything's alright. I'm here." Chuck seemed to calm at her words.

"Where-oh, right. Hospital. Sorry." Adrenaline fading, Chuck sank back into the pillows. He looked around, surprised to see that he was out of the ICU. He was still having trouble believing, even after all of their attempts to convince him, that everyone he loved was still alive. He still feared that it was all just a dream of his tortured mind, projecting his greatest with into his unconsciousness.

"It's ok." She said smiling sweetly. God, how he missed that smile. She ran her slender fingers through his chocolate brown curls. "You have nothing to apologize for. How are you feeling? Does your head still hurt?"

"I'm ok" he replied a little less than honestly, not wanting to spoil the moment. He was content to just lay there and stare up at her perfect features. Sarah was always amazed at how Chuck could look past her every imperfection. Every time she looked in the mirror of the hospital bathroom, she saw only her unruly hair, her pale skin, and the bruise colored bags beneath her eyes. Chuck only saw his angel. Sarah frowned slightly, but her eyes held the smile.

"Chuck, I can see you wincing. Now, how do you feel, really?"

"I'm ok. My head hurts, but believe me, it's been worse." Sarah heart clenched.

"I can imagine. I'm so sorry this happened to you, Chuck. I saw them take you from across the parking lot, but I was too late to stop it and I didn't have my gun with me. I'm sorry, this is all my fault!"

"Sarah, don't ever blame yourself for this. None of this is your fault, ok? I'll be fine."

"Still my Chuck?"

"Always." They smiled, not speaking, just enjoying each other's company. A moment later, Casey entered.

"Morning, Bartowskis."

"Morning, Casey." Chuck smiled. "Where's Morgan?"

"He's with Ellie and Awesome down in the cafeteria. Listen, Chuck. Beckman wants a statement from you telling us what happened. I still think it's too soon, but she asked me to see if you were up for it. You can say no if you'd like." Said Casey, somewhat protectively.

"No, it's ok. I'm good. Should probably tell you guys anyways while I still remember everything. Not that I'm likely to forget." He added darkly. Sarah noticed the change in his voice.

"Chuck, are you sure? 'Cause this can wait."

"Positive. I'll be fine. Promise." He gave her his best reassuring smile. She didn't look convinced. "Okay, but if you need to stop and take a break, let me know. I'll be here the whole time. And if your head starts hurting, we stop. Deal?"

"Deal. Okay, where to begin? Well, after they knocked me out I woke up briefly in the van, but they injected me with something. Not sure what, but I didn't wake up for a while after that. When I did, I was chained to the ceiling in the warehouse. I honestly didn't know I was in Poland until you told me. A couple guys came out and beat me, but didn't ask me anything. Then they'd leave when I passed out. They did this for about a week I think." Sarah felt her blood run cold. A week? "After that, the head guy came in and told me that everyone I loved was dead…" Chuck paused for a minute. "He showed…he showed me…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. He had been so sure that they were dead, that that video was real.

"Chuck, it's alright. We've seen the video. It was fake. An excellent fake, but still fake." Chuck let out a relieved sigh. At least he wouldn't have to explain that.

"Well, as you probably figured out, I thought that video was real. It's still hard to believe this was all faked. Anyways, after that they left me alone mostly. I got water once a day and food twice a week. Whenever the guards were bored, they'd come in and beat me. But I was used to it by then. Every once in a while, that leader guy would come in and use those weird cards. I always wondered why he never questioned me about America's secrets. He obviously knew I was the intersect because he had those cards. But he never asked me anything. The last month was kind of a blur. Nothing really happened besides what I've already told you." Chuck stopped as an extremely painful flash of pain tore through him. He hurt from his toes up with his head being the worst, although his abdomen was at a close second. It seemed like all of his pain medication decided to wear off at once. This didn't go unnoticed by Sarah.

"Okay, that's enough. You did very good, but you need to rest." She said, fussing with his blankets and pillows. "You still have a fever and God knows how many injuries. Go to sleep, we'll be here when you wake up. Promise."

"'Kay. Hope that helps Casey. Sorry. I know it doesn't really help you figure anything out." Chuck mumbled tiredly.

"You did good, kid. Just concentrate on getting better, alright?" Chuck nodded, then fell asleep almost instantly.

Three weeks later, Chuck was being helped inside of his apartment for the first time in almost four months. Jennings had given him the all clear to go home, but with strict orders to rest. To be honest, Chuck was just happy to be home again. He had missed Echo Park and the courtyard with its fountain. He had missed California's balmy temperatures. Devon and Casey gently eased him down the couch. He sighed, boy did he miss this couch. Just lying there brought up pleasant memories of Conversations with Ellie, Halo tournaments with Morgan, and late night movies with Sarah. He was tired, but he decided that it was a good kind of tired. Whatever happened, happened. It was over. Sarah came back from their bedroom with a blanket and Chuck's watch that also doubled as the governor for the intersect.

"I found this in the parking lot after you were taken. I figured you might want it back." She smiled, sliding it on to his still too-thin wrist. He flashed her a grateful smile. They were alone now, the others had left in order to unpack. Sarah flipped on the television and started searching for something to watch with Chuck while he rested. She found a movie that looked vaguely entertaining, but not so riveting that he couldn't fall asleep when he got tired. She set the remote down and went to the kitchen with a promise to be right back with a glass of water and his medications. Chuck sat there watching the movie. It was a romantic comedy from the mid- 2000s. As he watched, he suddenly noticed what the lead actress was holding. A phone. A phone manufactured by Roark Industries. A sudden spike of pain shot through his skull and his hands flew up to his head. He let out a groan of pain. Sarah rushed back to the couch to find Chuck clutching his head and rocking back and forth with his eyes shut tight.

"Chuck! Chuck can you hear me? Talk to me Chuck." Sarah tried to get his attention, but nothing worked. Sarah took his face in her hands and forced him to look her in the eye. That's when everything changed. His eyes went blank for a moment, and then filled with terror.

"No! Nononono! Get away from me! P-please!" He tried to get away from her but he was still very weak.

"Chuck? What's wrong?"

"No please just stop!"

"Chuck, it's me, Sarah. You're okay. Chuck!" She tried desperately to get through to him, but his terrified screams just got louder. To her it looked as if he was trapped in a nightmare. Out in the courtyard, Devon heard the screams coming from his brother-in-laws apartment. He was about to head out to the grocery store, but instead he sprinted to Chuck's door. When he entered, he was met with a scared, confused Sarah trying to calm a terrified and struggling Chuck. Sarah glanced up at the sound of the door.

"Devon! Thank God you're here. I don't know what happened! One minute he was fine, he was just watching a movie, the next he's clutching his head and screaming at me to leave him alone!"

"Here let me try. Chuck! Chuck, can you hear me bro? I need you to look at me." Chuck continued to struggle, but Devon held tight.

"Chuck. Look at me. You're ok. You're home. You're safe. I need you to calm down for me ok?"

"D-d-dev-von?" Chuck asked tentatively.

"Yeah, man. It's me. You gave Sarah and I quite a scare. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Sarah? B-but Sarah…she…she died."

"No she didn't Chuck." He moved aside so Chuck could see Sarah. "See? She's ok."

"Sarah's ok. Good." Then he went lax in the doctor's arms. Devon quickly checked his pulse, finding it a little fast, but not dangerously so. Sarah kneeled next to her unconscious husband, her eyes full of fear and worry.

"Devon, what the hell was that?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello lovelies! As some of you have noticed, I'm using the idea of the cards from the end of the 5****th**** season, but I'm changing them up a little. Keep reviewing! J**

"I-I don't know." Devon was just as shaken as Sarah at the moment. In his time as a doctor, he had seen a lot. But nothing like this. And it had never been Chuck. "Sarah, I need you to tell me everything that happened."

"I umm, I put on a movie and went to get Chuck his medicine. When I came back he was like this." She said gesturing the unconscious man in Devon's arms.

"Okay, whatever just happened, I'm gonna guess it has something to do with his brain. You said that those cards messed with the intersect. Maybe there was some long term effect? Let's get him back on the couch, then I'll go get Ellie. This is her area of expertise." Devon hoisted Chuck up by shoulders, trying to ignore how sickeningly light he was, while Sarah took his feet. In all honesty, he could've lifted Chuck with one arm, but he didn't want to further exacerbate his healing injuries. Once Chuck was settled, he set off to get Ellie, leaving Sarah alone with her husband. And she was terrified. What the hell was happening to her Chuck? Ellie burst through the door, interrupting Sarah's thoughts. She immediately went into doctor mode, checking his pulse and shining a penlight at his pupils. She frowned.

"Pupil response is normal, pulse is a bit fast. But that's to be expected I guess, after what you told me. It's possible this could be PTSD, but it's unlikely. The symptoms would have presented themselves earlier." She went about trying to rouse him, calling his name and gently slapping his cheeks. Eventually, his eyes flickered open to reveal a blurry world and three worried faces. Chuck latched on to the last face he saw.

"Awesome." He said groggily. To anyone else, it would have sounded like a nonsensical declaration, but to his family it was music to their ears. Devon smiled.

"Hey bro. I need you to answer a few questions for me okay?"

"Sure, Cap'n."

"Do you know where you are, Chuck?" He looked around.

"Uhh, looks like my living room."

"Good. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was watching some movie. Sarah was getting my medicine. After that, no. Why? What happened?"

"We're not sure, Chuck. Sarah said it looked like you were stuck in some sort of nightmare. And then you passed out." Ellie said. Chuck looked around, noticing Sarah for the first time. She was perched silently on the edge of the couch with a scared expression on her face. _Is she scared of me?_ Chuck thought. If he had been locked in a nightmare like they said, had he maybe hurt Sarah?

"Sarah? Baby are you okay?" Sarah's body lost a bit of the stress she had been holding in. Chuck recognized her at least. She came up and sat nearer to him.

"I'm fine, sweetie. You scared me half to death, though. How do you feel?"

"I'm good." Chuck said distractedly. "Sarah, did I…you look so scared. Did I…did I hurt you?"

"What? No! Chuck, I'm fine. You didn't hurt me, and I know you won't, ever. I was just scared for you! You looked so terrified and in pain." Chuck frowned. He didn't remember any of that.

"Yeah, bro. I caught the end of whatever that was and it did not look good to me." He turned to Ellie "Any ideas, babe?"

"I'm not sure. Chuck, what's the absolute last thing you remember?" He scrunched up his face in thought for a moment.

"The phone."

"What? What phone, baby?" Sarah asked, confused.

"The phone from the movie. The main girl had it in her hand."

"Ok Chuck. Tell me about the phone."

"I was one of those early smart phones. RI Industries maybe. Nothing special, I remember that I hadn't seen one in a while. Not since, well you know." Sarah thought for a second, then recalled the conversation she had with Casey and Morgan a month ago when they'd first seen the cards.

"Oh my God, Devon I think you're right!" She exclaimed. Before Sarah had a chance to explain, the door opened and Casey and Morgan came in.

"Hey guys, just wanted to see how Chuck was settling-'' Morgan paused taking in the scene before him and striding over to the couch. "What happened? Is he okay?" They briefly explained what occurred to Casey and Morgan.

"Sarah, you were saying something before. You said I was right about something." Devon said when they'd finished.

"Right. Devon, before you said that maybe those damn cards caused this. And Chuck, you said the phone was an old Roark phone, right?"

"And?" Ellie asked, clearly not following.

"And the cards we looked at. One of them had Roark's face on it." Casey finished, picking up on his partner's train of thought.

"Exactly. I'm no neurologist, Ellie, but I think seeing the phone in the movie triggered something."

"If that's true, then there are a lot of possible triggers. Walker, there were thousands of images on those cards. If one glance at something barely related to one of the pictures on those cards did all this, what happens the next time, or the time after that?" Casey pointed out.

"So you're saying that if I see anything connected to these pictures, I'll have some major freak out? That if I want to avoid going crazy I have to stare at four white walls the rest of my life?" chuck said, his voice rising.

"Chuck, what we're saying is we don't know. But this is a start, okay? I'll find out what's going on. This is what I do. Remember that brain puzzle Dad left me? I figured that out and I'll figure this out too. Until I do, we'll just have to try to keep you from anything exciting. Guys," She said looking at Casey, Sarah, and Morgan "You've seen these cards. What was on them?"

"From what we could tell, it all looked like things related to Chuck's past missions. Our mystery guy still isn't talking so we don't know exactly what these cards did."

"Well, for now, just avoid anything related to past missions. Until I figure this out. Why don't you rest Chuck. I can tell you're tired and have one helluva headache." Ellie kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave.

"Take care, bro. And call if you need anything, kay?" Said Devon, following Ellie. That left the four agents in the apartment.

"I'm sorry." Chuck said quietly.

"Sorry for what? You've done nothing wrong." Sarah said, taking his hand.

"I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry you'll have to walk on eggshells around me so I don't go crazy. You don't deserve this."

"Chuck, don't apologize. First, you didn't _leave_. You were taken against your will, and second, I'd much rather be scared and have to walk on eggshells than not to have you at all. All those months you were gone, they were hell for me. For us all. I know this is hard, but we'll find a way to fix this, I promise."

"Don't worry, buddy we're on it. How 'bout you get some sleep now. Like Ellie said, I can tell you have a mother of a headache. Your forehead gets all pinched." Morgan smiled and left. Casey gruffly, yet unusually affectionately clapped his shoulder.

"Take care kid." Chuck smiled and drifted off to sleep with the thought that maybe Sarah was right. Maybe this would be over quick, without causing too much harm.

Never had he been more wrong in his life. Over the next week, Chuck had little episode several times a day. With each one, they got worse. The littlest things would set him off from the way Sarah moved to the sound of his clock ticking. Each time it happened, they were more intense and they took longer to come out of. And when they did end, the pain in his head became unbearable. He ate little, fearing that he would lose himself once more in even the blandest of foods. He refused to let himself sleep after the nightmares he had. It was getting harder and harder for him to distinguish reality from hallucination. Chuck could feel himself unraveling, not that he'd ever tell Sarah. By the end of the week, he had been hospitalized once more under Ellie's care. She ran scan after scan on his brain, trying to find a way to fix her ailing brother. All she could see was his brain was overactive, constantly working on something and never resting. Ellie had hoped that the controlled environment of the hospital would help to keep Chuck from the sensory overload he was suffering at the apartment, but the hospital seemed to trigger just as many terrified rambling as the apartment. Finally Sarah had had enough. She was sitting by his bedside, stroking his hand trying to calm him down. For the life of her she couldn't make out any of his frantic, nonsensical mutterings.

"No, gone. I, I don't have…nasty knife? No. What? Why? Lester wants a turkey BLT with banana peppers. Only way to stop him. Has Sarah. Volkoff…he doesn't have it. I have it. Tell agent Forrest she can't fire her. 49-B be damned. No Ellie, her fault. He didn't cheat. Sorry Beckman. No, Shaw stop!"

"Chuck, you need to calm down. It's okay, you'll be alright."

"Sarah? Nonono you're dead. Am-am I? Am I dead too? How? Please don't kill her!" Chuck's voice rose until he was yelling, his hands pulling against his restraints. "Please, not Sarah! Kill me! Not her!" his tortured pleas eventually broke off into tattered sobs and then reverted back to the confused mutterings. Sarah had been pushed out of the room by doctors as they tried to calm him, like they could do any better. Wiping tears from her eyes, she walked out the door of Westside Medical Center.

She managed to slip through the Buy More and down into Castle unnoticed. Maybe it was because Jeff and Lester were stoned out of their minds, or maybe they were just respecting her privacy. She thought the former far more likely. She was just going down to sign over an authorization form to go see the man they'd apprehended at the warehouse, but she was surprised to find Casey down there as well.

"He's worse, isn't he?" His voice startled her as he stepped out of the armory. She nodded.

"He hasn't been lucid all day, just keeps rambling about things from the past."

"I guess you're here for the same reason then? To go get answers from the bastard who did this?"

"God yes." They shared a companionable smile and left for the CIA facility he was being held in.

Sarah strode into the interrogation room, while Casey waited behind the one-way mirror. Beckman had pulled some strings and managed to get them some alone time with him. The moment Sarah entered, he smiled.

"Sarah Walker. Was wondering when you'd drop by. How's Charles." The man smiled evilly, breaking his month long silence. His voice held cultured British tones.

"I see you've finally decided to talk."

"Well you are the only one I would open up to, my dear. I've been waiting for you. Allow me to introduce myself. Byron Kates, at your service." He said sarcastically.

"If you wanted to speak to me so bad, why didn't you just ask for me?"

"And miss the fun of having you come to me? See, I knew I'd meet you eventually. When you reached the end of your rope. Exhausting, isn't it? Watching someone you love…unravel." Sarah leaned in, her voice dangerously low.

"What did you do to him?"

"What? You really think I'd tell you? Charles is going to suffer the guilt driven insanity that you forced upon me. However, as you can see, I've embraced it."

"What are you talking about?"

"November 23rd, 2002. Marcus Kates, or as you knew him, Marcus Wainwright." Sarah paused as she recalled the mission. It was a relatively simple one. Wainwright was after a high ranking government official and Sarah's job was to protect the man so Wainwright couldn't torture him for information as he had done in the past. When Wainwright showed up, he tried to escape, but Sarah eventually cornered him. Not before he could take a hostage though. He had grabbed a young girl, no older than six, and led her at gunpoint through the streets of Rome. Sarah had no choice but to kill him. But the shot to the head didn't do it's intended job. The CIA brought him to a hospital to see if maybe he could recover and spill his secrets on his organization. Sarah heard that he went insane in the hospital and eventually died after he slit his wrists with a scalpel he stole.

"So this is revenge. You do to me what I did to you?"

"The beauty of this is that there's no cure. Tell me, is he still coherent? I'll take that as a no."

"Why not just kill me?"

"Oh, I thought about it, but you've changed Sarah _Bartowski._ You're no longer the unattached spy you once were. No, I wanted to break you, like you broke me. Enjoy watching your husband waste away in some hospital. Maybe he'll kill himself. Who knows? But with that seed I planted in his head with that video in full bloom now, it shouldn't be long until we see the results of my little…experiment."

**I wrote you guys a longer chapter this time because…I'm leaving! I'm sorry, but I'll be gone for a little over two weeks on vacation. I know, you must hate me. I really do apologize. I promise to update as soon as I'm home!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm back! Again, I apologize for the long break and for those of you who have stuck with me! I really am sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors. If you had met my insane high school English teacher, you'd understand. Scary beyond all reason. Enjoy the chapter!**

They drove back to Castle in silence, Casey at the wheel with a white knuckled grip and Sarah in the passenger seat. She stared dejectedly down at her hands in her lap, running her fingers over the gold ring. She remembered the quirky and unique vows he had made to her on their wedding day, and a tear leaked out of her eye. He had promised to prove his love to her, but what was she doing to prove her love to him? After all, it was her fault this had even happened. All this time they had been searching for a connection to Chuck, and all this time, the connection had been to her. Casey glanced over at her.

"You're blaming yourself, aren't you?"

"John, this is my fault. Kates' brother is dead because of me and that's why he's done this to Chuck."

"Kates' brother is dead because he tried to kill innocent people and you did what had to be done."

"Blame doesn't matter anyways. You heard Byron. There's no cure, nothing we can do but watch as everything Chuck is disappears." At this, Casey tightened his grip on the wheel and pulled over to the side of the road.

"So you'd just give up, that easy? A crazy guy says there's no cure and we just believe him? Look who we've got working on this. We have two highly trained spies, two incredible doctors, including one who specializes in the brain, a tech wizard who knows Chuck better than anyone, and, according to Beckman, the whole damn CIA. I know this is hard and I know this is a huge shock to you, but we don't have the luxury of falling apart. Chuck's depending on us, and you're ready to quit? That's not the Sarah Walker I know. Did Chuck, an emotionally compromised "spy" with almost no training or resources, give up when your life was at stake? No. he just tried harder. When Shaw took you, he planned to go out there with no backup. When Vivian poisoned you and you were dying, it was Chuck who saved you. He put it all on the line and pushed himself harder than ever to save the woman he loved. If Chuck could do it, so can you. Now I'm sorry, but now's the time to pull your head out of your ass and go find a way to save him. I sure as hell know that's what I plan to do." Sarah stared at him silently for a beat. Casey had always been a man of few words.

"You're right. I shouldn't have fallen apart like that. Thank you." She gave him a watery smile. Behind the tears still lurking in her eyes, Casey could also see the spark of defiance and determination that had been absent. He gave her a small smile, and pulled back onto the road.

When they arrived at Castle, Sarah called Ellie for an update on Chuck's condition. He was worse, but after Casey's bracing "pep talk" of sorts, she had found her second wind and was refusing to give up. Morgan still sat in the corner, looking over the cards, trying to find something useful in them. Casey walked into one of the interrogation rooms so he wouldn't bother them while he called a few contacts, trying to figure out a way to reverse the damage to Chuck's brain. Sarah sat herself in a desk in the corner and studied every file they had on Byron Kates. Everything prior to Sarah's mission that ultimately ended his brother's life related to his work. He and Marcus had worked together in a two-man crime team. They did it all, from drugs, to weapons, to organized assassinations. After Marcus's death, there was very little on Byron Kates. An occasional sighting here or there, but nothing to hint at his activities. The only relevant information was that he seemed to have been spotted by agents several time over the last few years in the Los Angeles area. Sarah assumed he was watching her, trying to figure how best to hurt her. She opened the last file they had and something caught her eye. It was a reported sighting of Kates meeting with a disgraced French neurosurgeon, Dr. Dorian Bellard, six months ago. The report included several grainy surveillance photos of Kates and Bellard shaking hands and boarding a plane together. Sarah's heart sped up. This might be the link they were looking for. Casey re-entered the room, shaking his head.

"No one seems to have anything yet, but-Walker, you got something?" At this Morgan turned his attention to Sarah as well.

"Maybe. Six months ago, Kates met with a Doctor Dorian Bellard. I pulled Bellard's file. He's a French neurosurgeon who had his medical license revoked after it was discovered he was conducting experiments on his patients. He disappeared before his trial, and then went to work for people like Kates. He specialized in torture. I'm thinking Kates went to Bellard to have those cards made. Kates probably got his hands on Chuck's files when all the systems were malfunctioning during the Omen virus thing and gave them to Bellard."

"Makes sense. I've heard of Bellard. Guy thinks a lot of himself. We have any idea where he is?"

"I reached out to a friend in Langley and he's gonna see if he can find anything on Bellard." For the first time, Morgan spoke up.

"Okay, so we go after Bellard. Do you actually think this guy's gonna tell us how to help Chuck? I just read his psych evaluation, and this guy is 'sposed to be cocky, narcissistic, and tight lipped. He was extremely angry when his experiments at the hospital he worked at were interrupted. So angry in fact, that he released poison into the hospital's water supply, nearly killing hundreds of people. That's what got him on CIA radar to begin with. He's not gonna be okay with his experiment on Chuck being cut short. When we go after this guy, we need a plan."

"I agree." Casey said.

"Okay, my contact just got back to me. There's already a team sitting on Bellard's location in Rome. They believe he's trying to come up with a more efficient way to wipe memories. He left his last lab without hiding all the evidence before he ran to evade capture. The team's been contacted and they agreed to watch Bellard until we get there, then they'll assist with the raid. Agent Manning is going to help us coordinate this with the Italians."

"Alright, I guess we're going to Rome." Casey gave a half smile.

**I promise more is on the way! If you want to make my day, hit that review button and tell me what you think! J**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ya'll ready for another chapter? Hmmm, I just realized how little Chuck is actually in this. I shall have to change that…**

He couldn't make it stop. The images and memories raged forward and blurred together, spilling over the dam of his sanity. Even his happiest thoughts and memories became twisted and dark with the tragedies of his past. They came so fast that his overtaxed mind couldn't process them. It was beyond agony for him. He remembered the pain of the flashes before he had the governor. That seemed like the innocent prick of a needle compared to what he was experiencing now. He felt everything, and nothing. He was very aware of the fast, yet weak thudding of his heart against his ribs. He felt the sheets on him more than ever. The IV in his arm burned. Yet he could not perceive anything beyond himself. No voices, not gentle hands clasped around his. Nothing. He was locked inside of himself. In attempt to retain what little sanity remained, he concentrated on his happiest memory, trying to force the twisted images that threatened to invade his small haven away.

_Her white dress was simple, yet elegant. With every step she took down the aisle, her smile became more radiant and she seemed to take on an ethereal glow. When she finally arrived at his side, she took his hand in her own soft, petite fingers. She leaned over and, in a whisper only audible to him, said "I love you". Three simple words. They were the first words he longed to hear when he woke up, and the last words he wished for every night. He wanted them to be the last words he ever heard. So simple. So soft. Yet they could've been spoken by an angel. His angel. They beamed at each other throughout the service. Vows were made, and sealed with an eternal kiss. His life was perfect. The left the church and emerged into the bright sunlight of the day. The clouds had cleared up, and the warm sun shone down on them. There was a limo waiting for them, and he held the door open and helped his bride in. "Chuck!" Ellie was running toward him and he met her halfway. "You almost left without a hug. We Bartowski's have always been huggers." He smiled and pulled his sister into a tight embrace. _Then his beautiful respite from the horrors of his fractured mind ended. His precious memory was twisted into his worst nightmare. _Ellie released him and he started back towards the car. And then the limousine erupted into a fiery ball of intense heat. People screamed, but he took no notice. All he heard was the blood rushing in his ears. No, he thought. Not Sarah. Please, God no! He ran towards the inferno that so resembled the one of the Buy More. Two pairs of strong arms restrained him before he dove into the flames. The logical side of his brain told him to stop, it was too late. Sarah was dead. But that side was drowned out by the screams of his emotional side, telling him to save his Sarah. "Chuck, stop! She's gone!" Casey's unusually tender voice drifted into his awareness. The other pair of arms belonged to Devon. "I'm sorry, Chuck. God, I am so sorry." He stared at the flames and fell to his knees in grief. Suddenly, Sarah emerged from the fire. But she was different. Her body was translucent and, instead of her white dress, she was dressed in street clothes. She wore a brown leather jacket, dark wash jeans, and high heeled boots. Behind her wavy blonde hair, small silver hoops shone at her ears. He remembered that outfit so clearly. But unlike the first time he laid eyes on her, she was not smiling. Her face held no emotion at all. "You killed me Chuck. If you had protected me, I'd be alive. This is your fault." Her tone wasn't accusatory. Just flat, devoid of inflection. Her image began to fade. "Sarah, no! I'm sorry! Don't leave me. Please!" he pleaded. In the last moments she was visible, she stared at him with cold, dead eyes. "You did this Chuck. Now you'll have to live with it."_

**Little dark, I know. But the story in nearing it's end. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel.**


	10. Chapter 10

** Your reviews mean the world to me. Thank you soooo much! This is the confidence boost I needed and you're all so kind! In return for your reviews, I shall try to write you a story that lives up to your praise. I love you all!**

They arrived at Ciampino–G. B. Pastine International Airport the next morning. Although her thoughts rarely strayed from Chuck, Sarah was done dwelling on the negative. They had a lead. A damn good one too. They met with the team that had been tracking Bellard in their surveillance van near his hideout. The plan was simple. Sarah, Casey, and two others would enter the building. Morgan would stay in the van and run the technical side of things. The remaining five members of the team they met with were going to be stationed near the exits in case Bellard made a break for it. Morgan was able to quickly bypass Bellard's security system and they entered undetected. From there, she and Casey headed forward while the other agents took the two side passages. It wasn't long before they heard movement and muttering at a room at the end of the hall. They moved silently and entered the bright lab in front of them. Bellard was bent over a machine that looked like a modified version of the one they had found Chuck strapped to in Thailand.

"Faire foutre! Yes, that's it ! Just a little more! No, no that won't do. Ahhhh! Parfait! It is finished!" Sarah glanced at Casey as they listened to his frustrated mumblings. Deciding that he was distracted enough Casey trained his gun on him while Sarah placed hers on the back of his head.

"Move and your dead." She said in a low whisper.

"What do you want?" Bellard asked.

"Byron Kates. Remember him and those cards you made?"

"Yes. Monsieur Kates was very pleased with them. Hmm, dark clothes, cold stares. You are CIA, no?"

"Yes. Now tell me what you did and how to reverse the effects of those cards."

"Aaaahhh. You are the wife. Well, Madame, I am afraid he is too far gone. I have been watching him and I must say this experiment turned out quite interesting...and besides, why would I abandon this beautiful experiment. I will see it through."

"You tapped into the security cameras in the hospital."

"It was part of the agreement with Kates. I like to watch my work. But I'm sure your psych analysis of me told you that."

"Yes, it told us a lot. But what I personally found interesting was your narcissism."

"Ah, it is true. What can I say?"

"See, I think that attention and recognition are far more important to you than watching your _experiments. _You're a full scale diva who never got the applause he wanted on the right side of the law. Now you boldly own up to every act of mayhem you've caused. You want to prove how smart you are. You want them to roll out the red carpet for you. That's why your experiments are so frequent. All you want is to stay relevant. See, I think that more than not being able to see an experiment through, you fear being unknown. Forgotten. Irrelevant. I can erase you from every database and newspaper in the world with one call to Langley. I can _make_ you irrelevant." Sarah saw fear flash in his eyes, but he kept his cool.

"So you delete my records. I just continue my work and make new records."

"Oh no, Dorian. You misunderstand. We delete you. You have already proven how capable your are of escaping custody, so instead of taking you in, my friend and I thought we'd let you try out your new machine. You could be the ultimate experiment. This machine, it basically lobotomizes you, right?" This time his fear was very obvious.

"You won't do that. You agents have rules. You lobotomize me and you rot in prison!" Bellard said, frantically trying to find a way out.

"All we have to say is we found you like that. Self experimentation gone wrong. What's one more dead terrorist to the United States but a job well done?"

"You won't do it!"

"Really? John, you wanna strap _Monsieur_ Bellard in?"

"With pleasure." Casey moved forward and roughly shoved the doctor into the seat. He was struggling now, in full panic.

"No, stop! You can't do this!" Casey attached the wires to Bellard's head.

"Can't we? It's very simple, doctor. You tell us what we want to know, or you die in anonymity. No one knows your name and your quickly forgotten."

"I told you! It can't be reversed! He's too far gone!"

"Casey, would you please flip the switch." Casey gave Bellard an evil smile and put his fingers on the switch.

"No no stop! Please! There was something. I like to make my experiments fool proof, and it worked on those who I tried it on before Bartowski. But I never could eliminate the back door."

"The back door? Explain."

"It's another way into his mind. Those cards are meant to lock him within himself with no exit, but Bartowski always had one.'

"How do we access it?"

"It's just a theory, but if we use a system, something like the intersect he has, we can plant something in his mind. We use a modified electric current and insert the code."

"What code?"

"Those images on the cards, are codes specifically designed for Bartowski. We reverse the code and give it a corresponding image. I think if we plant the image in him, it would override and delete the bad code much like a computer." Sarah could barely contain her excitement.

"Well, get to work then."

Six hours later, Bellard had built them the machine that would transfer the code into Chuck's brain. While Sarah could barely wrap her mind around the science of it all, she was none the less happy. The original team of agents had taken Bellard into custody and Team Bartowski was on it's way back to California. When they landed, Sarah tore out of the parking lot and sped as fast as she could to the hospital. They burst through the doors and Sarah ran to Chuck's room and arrived just as Ellie left.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry. He's...he's so much worse. His heart stopped. We were able to bring him back, but he doesn't have much longer. He can't even breathe on his own." Ellie looked close to tears. "Devon is trying to strengthen his heart, but there's not much he can do."

"Ellie, listen. We think we found a way to fix him!" Sarah explained all that Bellard had told her.

"Sarah, that's crazy...but it actually makes sense. Here, lets try it." They attached the leads to Chuck's head and pressed the button to start the transfer of the code.

"Bellard said it would take some time, but it should work."

"So now we wait?"

"Now we wait."

**I hope this made sense to you guys. It's late. I'm tired. But as a reader of fanfiction, I know how much people appreciate having a writer who updates quickly.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hola! Just kidding…I don't speak Spanish. Yet. Anyway…Chapter 11! BT Dubs, ya'll are awesome and your reviews make my day. Sending you all hugs and smiles!**

Lost. That's Chuck would describe what he felt. The distorted memories swirled around him in a cloud of overwhelming confusion. Everywhere he looked, he saw replays of his memories play out before him, but with a savage twist that would only pull him further down into the grief, guilt, and agony he already felt. He had been like that for a long time. How long, he did not know. Days? Months? Years even? He begged and prayed for it to stop. He wanted out. Death would be kinder. And then it happened. A bright light, like a flash of lightning, cut through the clouds and haze and lit up his world. So this was death, mused. The pain was receding and his memories played out in their original form. He waited, finally at peace, for death to take him. But then, it didn't. He waited, and waited, and waited. Then he began to fear another cruel trick of his mind. Lure him into a false sense of security then strike harder when his guard was down? Instantly, his defenses were up. He strained his senses to find any indication of what might be happening. Sounds began to drift toward him. A soft beeping sound, a whooshing of air, and voices. Familiar voices.

"This will work, Sarah. Just give it time." He knew that voice. Morgan?

"It has to. I…I can't do this without him. I just can't Morgan. And what if it doesn't work? It's been three days since we tried Bellard's device and nothing has happened!" Sarah. Her voice was so sweet and pure. And yet, it was now mixed with frustration, fear, and a tinge of hopelessness.

"Remember what you told Ellie? And now we wait. Bellard said himself it would take a while. We have to trust in Chuck now. It's all up to him." _Me? How is it all up to me, Morgan?_ He concentrated on bringing his other senses back. Smells came to him. There was the soft vanilla scent of Sarah's perfume, the smell of antiseptic probably meant hospital, and…a sub sandwich. Turkey bacon and avocado on Italian bread with extra onions if his nose didn't deceive him. That would be Morgan's order he knew. He tried taste, but didn't get anything. Next he concentrated on feeling any sort of touch. There was a soft hand he knew to be Sarah's clasped around his own. Scratchy, yet warm blankets caressed his body. And then, he felt tubes in _very_ invasive places. The most irksome was the one in his throat. It was constricting and, although he knew he was getting enough oxygen, it felt like it was strangling him. _Okay,_ he thought. _Eyes next._ Opening his eyes was much harder than he would have guessed. After a few failed starts, he finally got them to flutter a little and open at least halfway.

"Chuck!" Sarah practically screamed upon seeing his eyes open. "Oh my God! I love you. God, I love you so much!" She sobbed, kissing him all over. Although pleased with the enthusiastic greeting, he was a bit confused as to why his emotionally challenged wife was suddenly spilling her heart out. He tried to speak to reassure her, but his throat caught on the tube and he began to struggle. Morgan noticed this right away and placed his hands on Chuck's shoulders.

"It's all right buddy. Just take it easy. That tube is helping you breathe, so just let it do its job. That's it. I'm gonna go get Ellie and Devon to see about taking it out okay?" He nodded to Morgan and watched him leave the room. He was suddenly struck by how weak he was. At that moment, Mr. John Casey Grrr I'm tough walked in and his face lit up with the goofiest smile that looked comically out of place on his battle scarred face.

"Morning, Bartowskis."

"I can't believe you awake! Don't ever do this to me again, okay?" Sarah said, only half stern. When Ellie and Devon entered the room along with Morgan, their faces lit up with identical joy.

"Hey Bro!" Devon said enthusiastically. "Let's get that tube out, okay? On the count of three, I want you to cough and then we're gonna pull it out, alright?"

"And when that's done, there's ice chips for your throat." Ellie chimed in.

Chuck decided that getting the ventilator removed was now added to his list of uncomfortable moments. The top spot on that list would always belong to the time he kissed Casey, but this was still pretty uncomfortable. He coughed and Ellie held out a spoon with an ice chip on it he accepted it gratefully.

"Th-thanks. Well, that wasn't exactly fun." The relief in the room was palpable. "So, would one of you guys like to tell me why I'm here and you all look like you haven't slept in weeks?"

"You don't remember? Buddy, you're killing me. You just shaved ten years off our lives." Morgan said with mock outrage.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Said Ellie, concerned about how far back the amnesia extended.

"Uuuuuhhhhhh, I was at the Buy More counter fixing this old lady's flip phone. She had that Intelacell like you had the first time you met me, Sarah. I put the screw back in place. And that's about it. Why?" he asked suspiciously. Morgan sagged into a chair, all the stress leaving his body.

"It's alright Ellie. That happened a few minutes before he was taken."

"I'm sorry, taken?!"

"Ummm, yeah. Listen it's not really a nice story so we'll save it for later, okay? How do you feel?"

"Uhh, my head hurts kinda like a hangover and why am I so weak?"

"That's to be expected with being in a coma. It'll pass. We'll get you something for your head, okay?" Ellie smiled and went to retrieve the medication.

"Uhh…Devon?"

"Yeah bro?"

"There's also some tubes in some _extremely _awkward places. I'd really like those out too if you know what I mean." They all smiled at his embarrassed humor.

"Sure thing. But we'll do that later. Why don't we leave you to rest now, okay?"

"Sounds good." Chuck replied.

"Rest up, buddy. I'll stop by later. Now I gotta go make sure Jeff and Lester didn't start a Buy More employees revolution using rebellious eighties music as their anthem or something like that. God knows they'd do it." Morgan took on a look of a terrified soldier wading into battle. Casey walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, now that you're done scaring the hell out of us, I'm gonna go catch up on some sleep. I'll call Beckman and let her know you're okay."

"Thanks man." Casey gave him grunt number five, which translated to "you're welcome". Sarah turned to the two doctors in the room.

"Do you mind if I stay with him? I'll let him rest, I just need to be with him right now."

"That's fine. Call if you need anything, okay?" She smiled and nodded as the left the room. Sarah looked at her husband. The life that had been stolen from his eyes was back and she stared at it.

"Must've been bad, I guess. I'm sorry, Sarah. You know I'd never try to scare you."

"Don't apologize. This was not your fault. Your safe and getting better, and that's all that matters."

"So, what happened?"

"Shhhh…later. When you're stronger." With that, she curled into him and they fell asleep together. His feet keeping her toes warm.

**Told you guys it would get better! I hope you enjoyed it!**


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